(Thought how hard to begin the post. Not that the words weren’t there, but, I was at a juncture asking myself if/not to, at the end of it all, here I am).
Oh well…. gets in the mood
N.B: This is going to be a long read.
Many thoughts, unanswered questions, mixed feelings…….😥
I ask myself
Is it a privilege or an obligation for your parents to still fend for you after they have trained you (academically and business-wise) ?
Birthing you, does it give your parents the right to make all your decisions for you. Even when it’s obvious it’s going haywire?
Must you remain silent when being scolded wrongly?
Is it the right of a School Instructor/Teacher to flog/whip you when you’re naughty?
Is it compulsory to be answerable to your spouse even after his incessant mishandling(s)?
Must every woman get married (even when she’s at a point in her life where she doesn’t see need to)?
Is it the right of a boyfriend to demand sex?
Is it the right of a girlfriend to demand/request/expect her boyfriend to pay her bills?
There are soo many confusing happenings and yet soo many unanswered questions.
A true-life story here, where a woman stayed in her abusive marriage because of her kids. Was the bread-winner. Didn’t have a maid. Did all the kids school and home errands. Did her wifely duties. Overlooked her husbands misandrous spendings and women-carrying, yet still followed the Christian doctrine. Was a Churchie (a dedicated practising Christian). Was afraid of her husband.
Wasn’t sure she knew the meaning of Love any longer.
In all these happenings, she never thought of getting a divorce, all because she was a (devoted) Christian.
12years into her abusive marriage, (yet no-one knew). Carried the whole family-load alone (not excluding the fact that she was also looking after her parents and in-laws) yet, that was her cross-to-bear.
I was heartbroken, confused, taken-a-back, sad, short-of-words, wondering what women were taken-for.
He married her for Love. What had become of the love?
Wasn’t He a human being?
Didn’t he have feelings whatsoever?
Wasn’t He grateful for what he had?
Didn’t He see remorse in his actions?
Hadn’t He questioned the reasons why she hadn’t escaped with the kids? (after-all, she was financially capable)
Didn’t He ever think of turning a new leaf? (Change his negative ways)
Didn’t He care for the Life of the Kids? Or even bother about what they may have felt seeing him hitting their Mom every now and then?
Wasn’t He concerned what they thought about him?
Hadn’t He ever thought what would become of him and his kids if anything had ever happened to his Wife?
Was He just being a selfish and an inconsiderate man?
Or was it that, He just didn’t have the spirit of Gratitude?
Note: he was neither a druggie(drug-addict) nor an alcoholic.
Have you asked yourself the big Q already?
“What finally happened to the Wife”?
That should be an easy answer 🤧.
Then, there’s this farmers son. Born without a silver spoon, worked extremely hard. He never expected anything to come easy, so he put in extra hard work than the norm.
He made it. Became extremely wealthy. Had a family. Was known. Lived his life.
Had no reason to help people but he did. Why?
As wealthy as he was, he was very appreciative of the little things that were given to him. Why?
His Kids had an extremely wealthy father and they followed in his steps. Why?
He was humble even with his self-achievements. Why?
He always considered the needs of his Wife and Children before his. Why?
And then I look at some boys or Men(as I would say).
They expect the world and give nothing.
They demand everything, yet they have nothing to offer.
They want your all but have nothing to bring forward.
And I ask WHY?
Why is it hard for people to be grateful?
You have food on your table, yet, you complain you want to eat-out.
You have clothes on your back, yet, you say they aren’t the in-things (present-time fashion).
You have a roof over your head ,but, yet, you say it’s not in the coolest areas in town.
You live a comfortable life, but yet, you say, you want more.
You owe no bills. You have no debts. No out-of-the-way responsibilities, but yet, every opportunity you find, you complain.
Your parents are well-to-do. They give you a good education. Cloth you. Feed you. Take care of your necessary needs. Look after you. Love you. Yet, after it all, you demand more. What more do you seek? Aren’t you grateful already?
You’re dating each other, he doesn’t pay your bills. Doesn’t look after you. Demands sex. Expects you to still look after him. Still play the wifely role(s) (mind you, hasn’t put a ring on your finger). Finding faults in all your doings. Complains incessantly. Doesn’t commend your doings. Always compares you. Then, boom 💥, death is lurking around, he’s nowhere to be found. He’s gone MIA. You struggle, return to health, move on and he comes back. How? Why? Because? He starts with the epistles all over again.
He comes back with Love in his mouth.
He wasn’t grateful?
He left you in your dire moments.
What exactly are you meant to do with the words, I ask myself.
Why do people want to reap where they didn’t sow?
They want to harvest where they never planted ?
Why are people sooo ungrateful?
Why aren’t they appreciative?
Why? Why?? Why???
So much pain. Unanswered Questions.